Lee McFarland:

[00:00:00] In the military, you have that 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

You know, each man's got every man's back.

Well, nine to five's not like that.

You know, the people I work with, we were on the same level.

There was this thought in my head that I thought everyone was just my friend, and it's not the case.

I'm a man's man. Oh, I don't need therapy, I can deal with it all.

But, But what ended up happening was I started doing therapy and was diagnosed with PTSD.

But going through EMDR it allowed, me to process a lot of the information and the occurrences through my life that I just put away that were still there, and I just hadn't managed them or dealt with them,

You know, when stuff's going wrong or my head's getting a bit too full of stuff, I'll go and hit the punch bag.

We all get knocked down, how we get back and how we proceed is what defines us.

Leo Judkins: Welcome to the iGaming Leader Podcast, where we uncover the inside of some of the most inspirational leaders in our industry.

[00:01:00] I'm your host, Leo Judkins and as an ex iGaming Director turned Performance Coach, I've worked with over 200 leaders from companies like Entain, bet365, Flutter and many more to help them build the habits to achieve sustainable high performance.

In these episodes, we share exactly what it takes for you to achieve the same.

So with that being said, let's dive in.

Leo Judkins: Hey everybody.

Welcome to the iGaming Leader Podcast.

I am super excited to be here with Lee today, Lee Paratrooper. Private security contractor in, Iraq and Afghani, and we talk about all of that exec and entrepreneur.

But behind all the hard work that and respect that he gets from everybody in the industry, there is some profound battles that he's faced and personal cost that will all talk through today.

[00:02:00] A man who's rebuilt himself turning hardships into stepping stones, and today we look at what makes him an iGaming leader.

Really cool to have you here, Lee.

Thank you for joining me on the podcast.

Lee McFarland: Great introduction.

Leo Judkins: Oh, thank you.

I practiced it.

Hey Lee, I, you've lived, you've lived many different lives, mate, from, you know, soldier security contractor. Like I said, just in the intro, now you're on business executive, like really fast.

Fast growth in your career, but, you, and you even described like having had a really tough childhood in the intro when we, when we spoke beforehand.

And, you've said it online a few times, but through all of those transformations, I just wanna, I'd love to hear what's the what's the real lee, you know, how have you reconciled that kind of, that young para with, who you are today as an iGaming leader?

Lee McFarland: Yeah.

I think for me, if I look back.

It seems like a, it seems like a lifetime ago, but it also seems like it was only yesterday.

You know, and I, and I do think about it quite a lot, you know, those, those hardships, and those, those places.

[00:03:00] I've been in the world where, you know, most people won't go.

And I think for me, what it's given me is the. Give me the views that actually, you know, things can all be worse.

So, so again, you, and you mentioned it there around kind of utilising some of my hardships.

You know, and this is the, the piece for me is that it's been a, a huge struggle for me both mentally, physically, you know, relationships. Going through this process and this journey is still ongoing.

You know, I'm still, I'm still learning, you know, and I, and I'm grateful for, you know, the i gamer leader, you know, group that we have, a coaching, you know, because it's allowing me also to see that I'm not the only one.

But a lot of that comes back down to, you know, being able to look at what I've been through. Going, well, actually the next 10, to keep moving forward.

[00:04:00] but also, can I, how can people as well?

I think a, a big part of who I see myself as today is how can I lift the next person up?

Leo Judkins: I love that Lee, because I see every single piece of your history, your career history, and your personal history coming through in, like how you talk and how you lead and how you work, everything, right? They're all pieces of you.

That formed your puzzle of today, which I, I think is, is so special because you are, you are so authentic, and you can, like you, everything that you do is, you know, shows authenticity and I, But I'd like to start kind of with that transition from military to, to city life, if you will.

I know how hard of a transition that is.

People dress different, people talk different, people walk different, one day, like in military, obviously for you, everything was for the, the man next to you, right?

[00:05:00] That's, that's who you turn up for. Where in corporate life it's probably more around, you know, people show up for the money, I suppose.

So.

How was that transition for you?

I know you, you kind of, you started to working on it, project management and studying there, but, but how was that transition for you?

I, I know how difficult it is for so many to make that transition.

How, how did it go for you?

Lee McFarland: I'm gonna be honest, I still think I'm just transitioning.

I still, I still, I.

And, I, I always look at it like this.

I was institutionalised.

I joined the Army at 16, and they broke me down, you know, and that's what the military does.

It breaks you down, and it moulds you how they want you to be.

The MOD spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on each soldier, training 'em up, you know, defining them, team spirit, courage, camaraderie, you know, this kind of core things that, you know, you get to, to really hold inside, and define who you are.

The transition for myself was difficult, and the reason being is I didn't have a network.

[00:06:00] I didn't understand coming out of the military, you know, and I went into a high paying job in, you know, hostile environment, was kind of going from one military to another military.

So that transition was quite easy.

What I find was I was going away for nine, 12 weeks at a time, and coming home for a month having a. Big bank balance and thinking that I was still, a guy in the military going out, you know, partying, buying fast cars because the military doesn't teach you about saving money, paying taxes, you know, buying food, paying for your electrics because that's all there for you.

So you get so used to having, hey, well I just, whatever's left of my bank balance in a month, that's mine.

We'll go out and party and then three meals a day.

If all of a sudden that that's not done for you.

[00:07:00] So there's that side of it, which is kinda that personal side.

But then it's also, let's talk around, you know, joining a, a company, you know, a corporate company, you know, where, you know, they have structure in place, they have a hierarchy very much like the military does.

The difference being is, you know, I was going at, and I was, you know, call a naked bar, you know, at five o'clock in the afternoon in Piccadilly Circus.

It's like, what, what?

What's this guy doing? Because that camaraderie, that, that kind of, we don't have that in the military.

You have that 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you know, each man's got every man's back Well, nine to five's not like that.

You know, and I thought everyone was my friend, and this is, and I still, I, I honestly believe that, you know, the people I work with, we were on the same level.

We were gonna, you know, we're going to take over the world or whatever it be, deliver the project.

And there was this thought in my head that I thought everyone was just my friend, and it's not the case.

Leo Judkins: I so see that, and I see it in so many people.

[00:08:00] So, when you, when you came out or when you came out from the private contracting, you, you retrained an IT project management right?

To start your civilian career.

Initially from.

What I read, you were met with rejection.

How, how did those, early nos hit you at the time?

What were some of the, you know, some of the things that that did to you emotionally, and what did you tell yourself to keep on going?

Lee McFarland: know, I, I'm a firm believer in myself.

I do believe in my capabilities and, and I, I put it heads strong when it comes to that, you know, and, but again, that's also a, positive and, and then also a negative sometimes.

But, but again, that head, that kind of strong within my will, should we say, which is the easier those rejections, which I say, you can do this.

You know, I, I go back to father Midco career.

I was 22.

They weren't hiring guys my age, you know, but I was very lucky for what I. Achieved in the, in the past at Regimen I was selected, but again, at 22 years old I was running teams of bodyguards in oac, which unheard of. Again that ability to go, you know what?

[00:09:00] I can do this.

I have got the ability to do it They just can't see it.

I just keep going forward, just keep pushing forward, and that's all you can do.

I think for me, it was just that every rejection was a, was another knock to go, Hey, I can do this, and it was to prove. Family, know, because even my family were like, what are you doing? You in it? No.

Leo Judkins: I know that then you started focusing on, on networking and personal connections, and that really describes you so well, that I think that's your whole character threat that I think that's defined your entire career. Like when do you.

When did you learn that that was maybe something that you were specifically good at and how, you know, building those bridges were, were really important for forming, like starting that career and then going onto what became a really successful, trajectory that you went on.

Lee McFarland: I don't think I have. Consciously thought, oh, I'm good at networking.

And, and again, I get, and there's been a couple of times over the last eight months or years people have said this.

[00:10:00] And I still struggle to see how it is.

I'm just myself.

You know, I give a hundred percent, or I try to give a hundred percent, of when I say I'm gonna do, so I do it.

And, and again, it's just, that's ingrained in me.

So I think that's just a natural outcome of, of my personality.

And, but I'm also really, really grateful for that, you know, and I think that for me is, is important, you know?

I turn up, I say what I'm gonna do, or I, I try my damnest.

You know, we, we all, all have setback.

I think that, for me, kind of defines who I am, you know, and I think that's just, who I am as a person.

And one I, one of the outcomes of that is that I do build authentic relationships.

Leo Judkins: I mean, your work ethic is just something else, right? One of the one of the big things that, I, I did, I actually didn't know about you.

Is that while you were at a head of Del Head of Delivery North America at SG, you were also, got your master's degree. Right.

And that is just like, that's just, that's insane, right? Being able to do all of that at the same time.

And then I saw that you were a finalist for role model of the year as well.

[00:11:00] So tell me a little bit more about like that whole, like how did you manage all of that and how like.

Yeah. Meteoric rise.

I felt like How, how, how did that, you experience that whole progress from, you know, kind of being met by nose in the beginning of your, your civilian career to then all of a sudden rising really successfully?

Lee McFarland: I, I'm gonna attribute that to, to the people that I work with.

And I think, you know, light and wonder, SDA, you know, light and wonder.

I think I was.

It was the first time that I felt like I was actually in a place where people appreciated and, you know, acknowledged, you know, the, my abilities, whether that's, you know, building teams, you know, getting, getting shit done as I like to call it, hashtag get shit done.

That was kind of my whole mantra.

And I live to breathe that as well.

And I think, you know, again, it comes back to if I'm gonna ask someone to do something, I'm gonna do it myself.

[00:12:00] And this is how I. lead, you know, I don't lead from the back in the office and, and tell people I, I roll my sleeves up.

I like getting involved.

You know, if people are working late, I work late with them.

So that allowed me to create a, again, a very, very strong team.

And, you know, I went through my own challenges, you know, and I talk about this a lot and everyone knows if I struggle with alcohol use.

And Dylan saying he was the CEO at Light Wonder at the time.

You know, there was a couple of instances, again, you know, a big part of my life is consequences of my actions.

And, and, and I acknowledge those, I own those.

But Dylan and, and, quite a few people at Light Wonder really supported me through that, you know, and, and again, I went into part of that program and by doing that. Again, I, I, I was, I felt like I was somewhere where, you know, I was supported.

I was guided. 'cause I didn't know, again, there's so much in this world.

I, I don't know.

And I, I like to think I know everything, but I don't.

But having those people around me that will signpost you and, and actually really guide you, I think was really important for me.

[00:13:00] And that allowed me to pick more one, whether that's, you know, do my masters, whether that's, you know, some of the additional, you know, quality work that I do, you know.

It's important that I give back, and I'm a firm

Leo Judkins: Yep.

Lee McFarland: that.

You know, it's not just about what I can get, it's what I can give back as well.

Leo Judkins: Hey Lee, you, so you just talking about that, that personal crisis 2022, right? Where you, you, you were given some time to, to step back and reassess, get therapy, get help.

You take us back to that moment, what that was like and how that's, how that happened and how, how those conversations went.

Lee McFarland: when there was, there was a, an incident where I was, I was drunk, you know, and it was pretty much, it was, the white one was on the wall.

But in any, any business, generally would've said, I said, you know what, Dave? You know what?

We're not gonna deal him with. With this kind of, you know, behaviour outside of work, but also aligning the working environment and, and alcohol and, and it quite easily they could have done that and, you know, would've appreciated if they did, but they didn't.

[00:14:00] And, and Dylan and, and, and many others.

And like, I wonder, they were like, what can we do to help?

And I'm like, I don't know.

I don't, I

Leo Judkins: That's awesome.

Lee McFarland: you know, key, who was the head of hr, the VP of hr, like I wonder was like, don't we get you some therapy?

I'm, I'm, I'm a man's man. Oh, I don't need therapy.

I can deal with it all.

But, but what ended up happening was I started doing therapy and there's a technique called EMDR like, it's about processing information. Haven't processed all the trauma I've been through, so I am, you know, I was diagnosed with PTSD, but going through EMDR it allowed, me to process a lot of the, information and the. Occurrences through my life that I hadn't just, I just hadn't.

I just put away that were still there, and I just hadn't managed them or dealt with them, or at least acknowledged them.

[00:15:00] And I think by going through and having that acknowledgement this stuff happened, allowed me to process it.

So when I started to unravel all of this, and, you know, I was on this journey.

I went to a 12-step program, realised that alcohol was, you know, it was, it was the consequences, the reason my life, the consequences were from alcohol, but obviously,

What happened when I was in the, in the military and public security and as a child, all of it started to like, ah, this now starts making sense.

And, and so once you can, you can, you know, identify that, acknowledge that it's the process of going through that.

So I started getting some, started getting some peace.

Leo Judkins: Thank you for sharing that, Lee.

What, what was that like for some, like somebody like yourself who is in control, right? Who wants to be in control, who wants to lead from the front, who wants to get shit done, to then almost be at the mercy of others, and you know, people that are obviously being very compassionate and helpful, but then also seeking help, which is.

[00:16:00] Probably also something that was not in your, you know, normal day-to-day kind of, way of thinking.

How, how did that, how did that feel? That must have been, that in itself must have been very, very difficult.

I.

Lee McFarland: Do you know what and, and I think for me was the fact of being at that point in my. Life where I've got, I've, you know, I've been married to my wife for, for, for seven years now.

You'd been through the ringer with me.

We had a child on the way.

There's all of this, there's all of these other elements where actually I had to acknowledge that I couldn't control everything and. can't go back and change history.

But having that compassion and, and just again, you know, not the fear around it. 'cause again, there was so much fear in, and there is today still and inside me around how people perceive me or how, let me rephrase that, how I think people perceive me.

[00:17:00] Not actually, and there's a. Where I think people perceive me in a certain way, and I always that 99.9% of the time to be unfounded.

But I pay it Much in my head.

So actually being able to go, okay, well I'm doing this, and then doing it and then realising that actually the fear was unfounded.

I think that was the, for me, was a real eye-opener.

So to, to acknowledge that actually it's okay not to be. Okay. and again, I, I've been through suicide, I've, you know, I've attempted it.

And so there's all these moments through my life where it was all fear-based, and it was fear that was unfounded.

And it was everything that I, all the question I've put on myself because I thought that's how the world worked.

And, you know, I'm just grateful that actually I have. A better view of that today, but I just have to work on it.

[00:18:00] And it's time that, you know, again, it's a journey.

You know, and I have to keep working.

I have to keep putting in the effort to, just remind myself that, you know, that things happen.

And I, I just have to process that and take my time because again, I think we spoke about this before where I'm very reactive and actually just need to have, as we call it, a pause.

Leo Judkins: Yeah, pause and, yeah, respond rather than react.

So yes, but it's normal. Right?

It's very normal.

We, like, you feel something and you, you react instead of respond.

And, but look, it's just, it's a journey of self-awareness as well, right?

And that's, that's really what you've gone through, Lee It's amazing, and you are helping so many others, others around you as well.

And, and thank you for, thank you for being so open and honest about all of this, because I think it's like, one thing is of course is talking about it.

The second thing is dealing with it, I think there's so many people that struggle in silence, and we hear these,

[00:19:00] sound bites like you just gave them, of it's okay to not be okay, but I always felt that it's such an easy thing to say.

It's so, it's so easy to flow off your lips, to just throw it out there.

It's okay to not be okay, but then to actually see people talk about it like that doesn't happen a lot.

I, I think, you know, I, I don't think it happens enough. Ao I wanted to ask you how, like what's, what would've helped you, you think? At an earlier stage to identify some of these challenges that you've had or to maybe deal with it more effectively at an earlier point instead of at that intervention? You know, 2022,

Lee McFarland: personally, I think having, I didn't have a, a, a close-knit family, should we say, in the sense that we were all geographically dispersed just, you know, my, coming from a single parent background, I just acknowledging emotions.

So having a dad who was quite, you know, again, I spoke about this, he was quite violent.

[00:20:00] I didn't know what emotions were.

I didn't understand what being sad was.

Identified. Sad as angry.

I felt fear as anger. Everything was angry, and so for me, I mean, just having a, again, it's so easy for me to say this, but just some interjection in my life, whether that being from, you know, some support services or whatever. Again, I am where I am today because of a lot of what's happened, and I'm very, very grateful for that. Especially around the military police, I definitely see an improvement there. Unfortunately, I've had three friends this year take their own lives, know, through, but you know, and then, and again, we ask if, I only spoke to 'em three weeks ago and we was fine.

And it's like we, we just don't know what people are thinking.

So I think having the ability to have a conversation, that conversation between, we don't know, but I think we have to try, and I think for me,

[00:21:00] Having open to the ability to be vulnerable.

You know, and, and actually and appreciate it.

You know, sometimes people don't know how to speak.

They don't know who to ask.

The more that we can do that, the, you know, the better we are gonna get it.

And I have seen the thing, I've definitely seen a case over the last four or five years of, you know, those services and the ability to help.

But yeah, alcohol, I think the, the military could, could do more around alcohol usage and consumption.

Very, very, you know, it's easy to put this, but alcohol is deemed as a, Hey, go out and enjoy yourself three nights a week.

It's okay.

It's okay.

But it's not when there's consequences.

And I think they, you know, again, I think there could be an, a better education piece around the impact of alcohol. Alcohol, you know, I see it If we actually ask ourselves how many times of our consequences being the cause of alcohol consumption, I think we'll find that actually our lives have a lot less consequences to our

[00:22:00] actions, or the actions that we partake

Leo Judkins: Yeah.

And I often think it's like.

I've had exact exactly those struggles as well, where it's a suppression mechanism. Right.

And I, I, I think the beauty is in what you've just actually said, the, the problem most people have, I feel in this situation, is that they don't have the words to describe.

What they're actually going through, right? The stress, the pressure, the anger, the fear, whatever the emotion is, they don't have the words to describe it.

And even if they would have the words, they don't necessarily have the people to describe it to.

So people might be judgmental, or they might be a fear of kind of what you were describing earlier, fear of how you're being perceived, right?

And so then the default is, all right, let's jp to drinking, because that just suppresses all of it, and it makes it go away.

And alcohol of course is addictive and, you know, but I think the underlying thing is often the issue.

Lee McFarland: Well, I, you know, fear is, fear is the number one thing, and, and it's fear of so many

[00:23:00] things, and it is because again, fear is speaking out the fear of what other people think. Fear of not it's, it's again, not knowing how you feel.

I think sometimes it's, it's very easy, you know, internalise everything, and we build this fear up.

And I think we have to, try and do whatever we can to, to, to at least alleviate as much of that's possible and, and be able to talk about it's, it's so important.

Leo Judkins: Hey Lee, thank you for, for sharing that the, I'm also, I'm so sorry for your loss, mate, with, with people, friends around you committing suicide this year.

How, like, how do you deal with, those ups and downs nowadays versus how you perhaps dealt with it before?

And not just ups and downs, but terrible losses, struggles that you go through in.

In life, now, versus how you dealt with them in the past?

Lee McFarland: If you become a bit numb to it.

And, and I'm gonna be honest, like, it's like, fuck.

And again, it's, oh no, why?

And the first question you ask is why Just instead of reached

[00:24:00] out to me, but then it, it, it's become so normal and so it starts to become a bit numb and, and you kind of, all I can do is what's in front of me and look after myself.

I can't spend too long.

You know, sitting on that.

So I do talk about it quite a lot.

I've got friends that I talk to. it's important to talk about because that as soon as you have that release, whether that's through talking is another good one for me.

And all of a sudden, so, my own coping mechanism.

I, but I've had become a bit numb to it, which is. Unfortunate, but it, it is.

It is what it is.

Leo Judkins: Lee, you like, I want to talk a little bit about boxing and, punch bag, and behind the gloves, I like, it's, it's actually really impacted me as well.

I've shared it with you a few times now. it's made a massive difference for me in a time when I've gone through ups and downs recently and, felt a little bit lost and, and just actually the session at Malta was the spark for me to get started again.

[00:25:00] So thank you very much for that.

But people that perhaps don't know, can you tell us a little bit more about what behind the Gloves is and, how it started and, yeah, how like, trading, trading shots for shots I think is such a great, great credo for it. Tell us a little bit more about it.

Lee McFarland: So, you know, I think I, I love boxing. Boxing for me is, is something that I've done, you know, throughout my life.

It's, it's gotten me tough times and, and also it just gives me so much energy.

So, you've had Daniel Beard on this, you know, podcast recently, and you know, they set up him and Rob Daley.

And Michael Brady, you know, organised the SBC boxing through that process of, you know, supporting those guys in training, early morning, you know, sparring with those guys in late nights, et cetera.

I have really seen the value of that.

And these are, you know, as the first SBC boxing with. Pretty much executive, you know, all really busy careers, you know, lots of obviously social

[00:26:00] events, et cetera.

But I've seen a changing of them over that kind of period of, you know, they, they looked better.

They were, you know, they were fitter, alcohol consumption was dying, et cetera.

So it's like, okay, so why don't, why don't we do something at these events? Through that process, I started to do, you know, morning boxing sessions at SBC Lisburn a couple, three years back.

Then I don't want a G two A, so Craig, well, you know, with G two A and so all of a sudden we start, I started to see that actually the value this was created and new people connecting that probably would've never connected before.

The camaraderie, you know, you worked, the next time it boxed in, in, in Malta, the camaraderie, the last, the giggles, the threat.

But it just, it creates something.

And you know, your staff and there's a few others that have now taken up boxes three to four times a week and, you know, people are losing weight for, and, and to see that grow and to see the group and the community grow around it. Know, has been amazing.

I had a message last

[00:27:00] week from, one of our, you know, was Julia from iGaming Leader.

You go to G three. He's like, Lee, can I run the boxing of energy G two?

I'm like, course.

So all rest stuff, I don't even need to be there.

You know, this community's got,

Leo Judkins: That was fantastic.

Lee McFarland: its own community and people are, you know, it's taking this forward and, and I think that's super important.

I just love it.

I love seeing people have a good time, get a bit of a threat on, maybe get the punch me in the face.

What more do you want?

Leo Judkins: Yeah, I love that.

I still remember that picture of you and Julia, you with the black eye.

It was great.

It's such a, that's such a fantastic movement, and I'm like, we were talking about this before, right?

We're talking about thought leadership and what that actually means.

And in my head, this is what thought, thought leadership is.

I think the industry is.

You know, it's so focused on trans transactions, right? Transactions.

It's a very transactional nature to the industry, which like I get because that's kind of how.

How the industry deals with customers as well.

[00:28:00] So there's no surprise that even on a peer-to-peer level, that that kind of, that that happens.

But, Pierre actually said it really well in, in one of the first podcasts I've done on this, this podcast, which, which was that we all have interests beyond iGaming, right?

And.

But I think many of the, the conferences actually don't cater for it, so I think it's fantastic what you do, and I think it's a, it's a real, yeah, like you said, it really brings people together and, and, and it makes a massive difference.

What are some of the best stories that you've heard coming out of it? You know, some of the, some of the funny things or perhaps the, the real transformations that you've heard of as a result of starting this, this movement.

Lee McFarland: Well, you know, well playing game, you know, he started boxing two years ago, he's still doing three sessions a week. He's the fit he's ever been, you know, and you, you just wouldn't see Twig, you know? He is, he's the life and soul. He is one of the nicest guys, you know, but

[00:29:00]again, he's now going to boxing multiple times a week. He's still staying fit.

And that to me, just, you know, to just hear that.

Thank who I, who I work with at Strive Gaming. He. Join the multi session. He's on this weight loss journey. He's going boxing two, three times a week.

And just to see that actually people are really inspired by this and enjoy it because most people think when you put a pair of boxing gloves, it's gonna hurt because you're gonna get punched, et cetera.

But there's just so much more to it.

There's that, you know, that you know, and again, just having those people together, and I just think people have, you know, really come and I again.

Relationships get built in the ring, you know, and again, it's hard to explain why, but you're all going through the same, Elements together at, at, at one time.

It's all together. Like a unified, and then you come out of it like, wow, that was hard, but beautiful, enjoyable.

And I just love seeing it.

I, I, I really do.

I just, I'm grateful for

[00:30:00] all of the, the people that support it, continue the support it, you know, the sponsors that make this possible.

I, I am looking to, to grow this community.

And so there'll be a lot happening over the next three to six months around that.

I'm super excited, mate.

It's something I'm really, really passionate about, and I just love seeing people smile.

It really does make me happy.

Leo Judkins: So, so you mentioned Strive there, you were, you were senior VP of Ops right? At Strive 2024.

Again, you know, fantastic transition.

I'm so impressed by your growth, Lee.

I think it's amazing.

I, but you, you step back to recharge and.

It's something that I think most executives are super fearful of doing, right? Because it's like there's this identity thing that happens almost, right? You lose your identity, you. Maybe you fear that, you know, your, your career's trajectory is lost.

You have a gap on your cv. Like what were some of the things that were

[00:31:00] going through your mind in and in making that decision that you were gonna slow down and reassess and recharge?

Lee McFarland: I think if I, if I look back, you know. Q4 last year I was burnt out.

You know, it's when I reached out to you, I, I just, I, I was just doing too much, and I was trying to be everything that I wanted to be.

You know, I have aspirations to be C level, I have aspirations to, you know, to, to make an impact on the industry.

And I have to, and, and I think, again, this goes back to what we said, which is awareness of what cost.

So I think that was the important push piece for me.

So just being able to, to acknowledge that for, a year or two, just to, you know, work on my own stuff, you know, be able to build out, you know, behind the gloves.

I'm willing to put that risk, and I think that's important for me.

And again, there is a risk to it, there is a fear around it because, I have to go and do my own business development now.

I have to make sure that I've got enough work to come into

[00:32:00] it, to support my family and my lifestyle.

But also realising, and I've touched on this about, you know, when I first got into the commercial sector, figuring that everyone was my friend, actually acknowledging today that I am doing work support a business, but also I have to be cognisant that I have to look after myself and, and my interest.

And You know, I put so much pressure on myself because all I want to do is achieve, achieve, achieve.

Sometimes I have to take a, a, a step back and go, does that cost and why am I, you know, why am I doing that?

And is the cost worth, the, the impact on it?

I just, I just realised that it wasn't.

Leo Judkins: that must have been really difficult, Lee, because you are like, you, like we talked about before, you're the get shit done guy, right? Like I'll just do it myself and.

And so for someone like that, that's, you know, gets a degree while doing a full-time job and being at the top of his career, like, while, while you're doing all these things at the same time, you are an in incredible, you've got incredible work

[00:33:00] ethic for someone to then slow down, that must have been really tough, right? That must have been very, very, very, very difficult.

What, what did you find hardest about the slowing down part of it?

Lee McFarland: Mm, just the, my thoughts, and I think that's the piece is that when I'm, when I'm running at least speed, which is like just go, go, go.

I don't really get time to process too much in my own thoughts, emotions.

I think that the piece for me was all of a sudden that fear started to become really, really real, either have a contract, I. going out on my own to kind of slow down a bit and work on what I wanna work on.

What if I don't get, what if I don't get that contract, So what if all of a sudden there was a different kind of pressure.

And again, I think having the sessions with yourself, Leo, and, and the wider community and being able to talk about that, and again, we go back to this whole conversation around being able to, to be open and, and actually have someone to, just to unload on and what my thoughts are and being told Don't worry. Lee

[00:34:00] You're not the only one feeling that what? There's other people like me?

So I think that journey in itself, Leah, is, has been. Exceptional for me and it's given me so much and continue to, continues to give me so much.

And I think that's the, the personal growth that I actually, when we talk about getting shit done, there's a lot of narratives to that, which is, Hey, I'm still getting shit done, but I'm doing it for myself to make myself better.

That might not be, you know, juggling five contracts that actually might be slowing stuff down.

So actually I can be present for my little one.

It's still but in a different way.

Leo Judkins: that is so difficult, right? That's I think every founder, every entrepreneur, every consultant will. Realise as soon as they start doing that, how difficult it is to actually set boundaries to say no.

How difficult it is to not do all the work and not work all the hours of every day.ing And

[00:35:00] so with you. Have such priority around your family and also the, you know, the challenges that you've gone through with your own personal, health.

What are some of the boundaries that you've learned setting around, you know, starting your own, starting your own business, and you know, obviously having those challenges every time.

Lee McFarland: Yeah, I think, and the key one for me, it has been the ability to say no.

That's super important for me, 'cause I want to, I want to keep everyone happy all the time.

Unfortunately, you can't do that.

And I can have the best will in the world, but being able just to acknowledge that actually it's okay to say no as long as it's done professionally for the right reasons.

And just being able to, to, to have that conversation.

And I think it's the level of maturity myself that I have really kind of. Acknowledged and identified that actually, over the last six to eight months, which is,

[00:36:00] I don't have to do everything of the time.

And I mean, that, super important for me personally. Again, we, we touched on this as responding rather than reacting.

And, you know, a big part worked on is, is that pause.

That's a five minute, five hours, just being able to slow down and go, okay. Okay.

And I think that's another piece that I think has been really, really key for me because I'm very good at responding, by reacting.

I need to, to improve on my responding, is very, very different.

And that's the, that's a characteristic that's taken a lot and continues to take a lot of work for me because I do like react.

Leo Judkins: It's the animal inside us, right?

Yeah. Kind of to close off, I wanna talk a little bit about, you sharing vulnerability around the challenges that you've gone through.

Because many people see a, an elite para, you know, somebody that's done security contracting has been in war zones, you know, been under extreme pressure, months of

[00:37:00] isolation, like super tough, hard guy.

I think they don't, they couldn't imagine somebody like that, struggling or being vulnerable. Right.

How's that been for you? How's the responses been? How have people reacted as you started, you know, being more and more open about your challenges and your stepping stones to growth?

Lee McFarland: I think I like, it's been a journey to beyond that in itself, and I think just you know, the more that I am honest with both myself and others around me and, and actually being, quite vocal about the challenges that I've had and those experiences.

And, and again, a lot of feedback that I get is that I appreciate that again, there's people in the, they have reached out to me for advice, and I'm always there.

So if anyone does ever wanna reach out or. Want to help, like, or get some signposting or just have a conversation.

I'm always there for that. No one's ever took by to me and said, how dare you? You know, because that's what my sport would've been. People, people are gonna be coming up to me and be like, oh, you, you're being too honest and being too personal.

But I think, you know,

[00:38:00] that's who I am.

And, and if I can help with one person, then it's worth doing.

I again, the, the feedback has always been supportive. Which again, I'm, I'm still appreciative of.

Leo Judkins: alright, last question.

You've been knocked down literally and figuratively many, many times.

If you think about somebody that's maybe at the start of their career as you were in that transition from, you know, from military life to c, and they're being knocked down now and again, what would be some of the, what would be a piece of advice that you. Would give them on how to, you know, break through that. Stay resilient and keep on going.

Lee McFarland: you know, I go back to this, it, it's about the people I have around me.

I'm very, very grateful for, you know, the people that have supported me for all this journey, both in the industry and outside the industry.

So I think, you know, find the people that can anchor you and ground you, but also can guide you.

You know, and again, not everyone's gonna know everything, but you create that

[00:39:00] network and that support network, and connections.

I think that is for one bit, one bit of advice I would give is, you know, find your anchors, and find people that, you know can, can help you, guide you through, through some of these trials ions that you have.

And, you know, we, we all get knocked down.

How we get back and how we proceed is, what defines us.

Leo Judkins: Love it Lee, thank you very much for, your honesty and your openness in sharing your story.

Thank you for joining me on The iGaming Leader Podcast.

If you enjoyed today's episode, head over to iGamingLeader.com for more conversations and insights. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast.

I'm your host, Leo Judkins, and I hope to see you next week.